Thursday, October 9, 2008

JENGA!!!


A’ight, as much as I enjoy the Fundación (which I oftentimes affectionately refer to as the “Fund” - my building of residence), there definitely be a few faults. It just so happens the mayoría of these faults happen to be structural in nature. Wait… what do you mean by “structural,” you ask? Well, let me tell you. *tilts head to the left in thoughtful pose* Hm… maybe I shouldn’t tell you, my loyal reader (yeah, all one of you :P)… perhaps a cliffhanger here would be a bit of a ratings grab. *shakes head vigorously* NO! I simply will not do such a thing. I started this blog for the you guys, the fans, and I shan’t, nay, I CANNOT treat you in such a manner. I will give you this information I’ve promised without the dread of waiting.

Anyways, moving on, so yeah, non-sequitur, this place is falling apart. There I said it. I can feel this building creaking with every person’s step in the same manner that I can hear the groans of a chair that’s being occupied by fat person. Let me start out small here for you guys and build up in terms epic-ness in relation to this building’s faults.

First, everytime I touch a wall here, it seems as if a piece of it falls off. Now of course I’m not speaking of the standard perfectly smooth walls that are a common-place in the States (and are prevalent in the Fund as well), but rather I’m referring to those that have those like texture-protrusions on them. You know what I mean. Like the bumpy little guys. Clearly my knowledge of painting and wall design are bafflingly strong as evidenced by this jargon I’m using, but I’m sure you guys are feeling me and are able to cut through my lingo in the same manner that one would cut through a flower with an axe: devastatingly.






















I know what you’re saying now: that that’s not really a big deal; this building is old as all get out and with the overall design of said walls, that should be somewhat expected over time. Ok, I agree with you there, but let’s take a gander at exhibit “B,” shall we? The electricity.

One word. Peli-FRIGGIN’-groso, or for my English speaking friends, “danger-FRIGGIN’-ous. Darn near everyone has had some problems with their electrical connections here. I should preface this by saying that Spain works on a voltage level between 200 and 250 volts, whereas the U.S. operates between 110 and 140 volts (or something to that effect). So that’s an issue straight up. Of course that’s not anything to do with the Fund, so no problems there. But anyways, due to this, one is required to purchase both a converter and an adapter to ensure proper functioning of electrical devices. Such things were procured by me. Being the nice guy that I am, one night when I went out I let my roommate borrow my converter (which is pretty friggin’ heavy duty, mind you). He wanted to use it with his laptop. I saw no problems with this, so I acquiesced to his request. I came back to the room later that night and the following exchange occurred:

[Aaron opens door]
[Luís lying in bed with a nervous and chagrined look on his face, sounding exactly like a Puerto Rican speaking a rehearsed line in his second language] “I have some bad news.”
“What’s up?” I prodded.
“Your converter exploded.”
[Shocked] “Exploded?!”
“There was smoke and a loud noise.”
“Huh.”
“I’ll buy you another one.”
[Shrugs] “It’s all good. Don’t worry about it.”

So yeah, my converted apparently “exploded” to some extent. I mean, it’s still all together and such, but something went down to freak the poor kid out. Luís has since bought me a couple of adapters in place of the converter, so we’re defs cool and all (not that we wouldn’t be anyway, but you know). Of course, these adapters weren’t enough to keep my alarm clock in check as it was quickly burnt out upon use with them, which sucks because I loved that clock. Oh well, at least my phone’s alarm works. Good enough for me.

Some other things have occurred with electrical cosas here as well. My suitemate Tom got shocked to crap by an outlet upon unplugging his laptop (and me as well, however not as intense at all), Jane and Colleen’s room actually had the electricity shut off in their room after plugging something in. Apparently, there was a noise similar to that of my converter’s explosion and everything went black. And worst of all, right now I’m looking at my roommate’s outlet, and he’s been given one of those multiplier things. You know, where you can plug several (three in this case) things into one outlet (like a surge protector, except this doesn’t protect against surges). He’s got his laptop, a desk fan, and some sort of charger ALL plugged in as I type. Something HAS to go wrong with that eventually. *shudders* Yeah, la electricidad = sketchy as a sketch over here.

Ok, convinced yet that this place is perhaps a little unsound in some ways? No? Who am I kidding, of course you are, but nonetheless, it only gets worse. I’m not even sure which of these final two I should mention first because both are quite epic. I suppose one was more localized so I’ll speak of that first.

So I’m pretty sure that every room that’s been crafted for habitation in this place came outfitted with a big ol’ ceiling fan. Every room except mine, that is. A bit odd, one might say. This has been a slightly perplexing; however, I believe that the proper conclusion has been arrived at in regards to this manner. Looking up at where a ceiling fan should be in my room reveals three small holes that would be ideal for hanging such an apparatus. So it seems not to be out of the realm of possibility that my room at one point housed such a cooling device. But why doesn’t it have one now?

Well, let me lead with this, the fans here are basically held together with one screw. I mean, there’s like the mount, which would be connected to the ceiling via the three holes I previously mentioned, but then there’s a bracket attaching the mount to the rest of the fan. This bracket is supported by only one screw. And apparently it’s not a very strong connection as the screw on Tom’s fan is about halfway to falling off. His fan shakes like a skinny guy in the winter when he turns it on. Wisely, he’s decided to longer utilize it. Still, though, the fan couldn’t possibly fall, could it?

False. Danika and Lauren’s room’s (the habitation quarters that is literally directly beneath mine) fan actually FELL DOWN! While they were in there. Kind of grazing Lauren on its way to the ground (she wasn’t hurt at all, though). WHAT?!?!?! How friggin’ dangerous is that?! Thank the Good Lord that neither of them were injured by this falling tiltawhirl o’ death, but HOLY MACARONI that’s nuts! So yeah, I’m thinking that’s why I don’t have a fan… probably fell at some point, possibly decapitating the former denizens of 29A.

Clearly by now, it’s clear that this place isn’t clear of structural defects; you clear on that? But there’s still one more thing that deserves mentioning within this house of malconstrucción. Now let’s try and take the journey with me here.

So I’m down for breakfast one morning in the cafeteria and notice some maintenance guys working. Interesting. I look up and see that there’s a hole in the ceiling and some sort of brace extending from one of the tables up to the area around it. Odd. I don’t really think anything of it, though, and continue my eating.

I come down for lunch and THE ENTIRE CEILING IS DOWN. Like, what the frigg? I come to find out that there was some sort of water damage and the whole thing needed to be replaced. Ok, that’s kind of bad, right? I mean, the entirety of the ceiling? While in the middle of a semester? Surely this wasn’t planned. But that’s not the end of it. I’ve since heard (not been fully confirmed yet, but this is the story I’m going with because (1) it actually seems a bit more likely and (2) it’s a LOT more entertaining) that the ceiling ACTUALLY FELL DOWN. I imagine that if this is true that it didn’t all collapse at once but more likely just a couple of the giant tiles, but nonetheless that’s absurd. Like somebody could’ve gotten smoked by one of those things and met an untimely demise. The ceiling has since been fully replaced, but yeah, the stigma of a collapsing ceiling is a little difficult to overcome, I’d say. Of course, I feel safe in this building, but yeah, there definitely be some structural anomalies around here. Either way, I must say that I’m having a fantastic time here. And I find that sometimes it’s nice to look at a pic to realize how bad things could be.

1 comment:

Amy said...

LOL....seriously, couldn't stop laughing, glad you and your compadres are surviving over there!